A workable definition
For a game, keep this: consent is free (no pressure), informed (you know what you’re agreeing to), specific (yes to one thing isn’t yes to everything) and revocable (you can stop anytime). Silence, an awkward joke or a reluctant “come on…” is not a yes.
Simple rules before you play
- Say what’s OK, what’s maybe, what’s no.
- Pick a stop word and honour it immediately.
- Allow a “pass” with no justification.
- Check out loud when intensity changes.
During the game
Watch for signals: a body closing off, nervous laughter, very short answers. When in doubt, ask. Stopping to check doesn’t “kill” the mood, it makes it trustworthy. After a stop, don’t negotiate, care, hydrate, reset.
In Amoris apps
Amoris Collection experiences are built around this frame: being able to slow down, pass or stop is part of the design, whether you play locally with Play, clarify desires with Match, or play remotely with Vibe.
Ask, listen, check
Ask: make a specific suggestion rather than a vague “okay?” - “Would you like me to continue like this?” Listen: look for a freely given, understandable yes without bargaining. Silence, stillness or no refusal is not agreement. Check: ask again when the activity, intensity or context changes.
Consent applies to every step. Agreeing to play, kiss or send an image does not mean agreeing to what follows. It can be withdrawn at any time, including midway through a challenge.
Simple phrases to use
- “I’d like to suggest something; you can say no without explaining.”
- “Is that an enthusiastic yes, a maybe, or a no tonight?”
- “Continue, slow down, switch, or stop?”
- “Thanks for telling me. We’ll stop.”
- “I’m curious about that, but I don’t consent to doing it today.”
Someone who is asleep, unconscious, severely intoxicated, pressured, threatened or unable to understand cannot freely agree. If unsure, stop and postpone.
After a stop
Stop immediately, make space and ask what they need: water, quiet, company or privacy. Do not demand an explanation in the moment. Later, discuss what the frame was missing without treating the stop as wrongdoing.
Frequently asked questions
Is a safe word enough? It helps, but keep noticing behavior changes and checking verbally.
Can someone change their mind after yes? Yes, immediately and without having to justify it.